My LUCKY 7 MUST DOs for when I feel a grief wave or an anxious tide coming...

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Have you ever found yourself curled up in a ball on the floor of your wardrobe crying in complete darkness for no reason at all?
Have you ever been mid-chore and a scent, feel or image hits you and all of a sudden your shirt is drenched from your tears?
Have you ever been halfway through your makeup routine for a social event and realised the amount of people that will be present and you start to hyperventilate?
Have you ever sat in your car in the mall carpark for over an hour trying to build up the courage to open the door and go inside?
Have you heard a song playing in the middle of the mall and you just burst into ugly tears and realise people are staring at you?

You are not alone my friend!
Its been a long road... I thought that the darkness of anxiety and depression was bad but after my 1st taste I soon realised that the pain of grief is pitch black!

As I navigated through my new norm after losing MY person, I quickly started to realise that time didn't care about how I was feeling it just kept moving whether I liked it or not!
Its been a minute and although my emotions continue to surprise me in new ways I've found a few things that have actually helped me ride the waves or recognise the tide I'm in.

Although these may not work for everyone but if it helps one person my heart will feel happier. 

These are MY FAVOURITE GO TO'S for when I know I need my surfboard of strength!

1: PRAY on EVERYTHING!
You do NOT need to know how to for this one! Just talk to God and if you don't know what to say in the moment, let your tears do the talking or just sit in silence for a few moments... I'm telling you now he hears it all, even the silence!

2. BREATHE HONEY, BREATHE!!
Sounds cliche but girrllll u need to take some ACTUAL deep breaths... Close your eyes, then in through your nose and out your mouth... keep going until you have calmed right down...they weren't wrong with this one!

3. JOURNAL LIFE! PEN N PAPER...
Your "healed" self will thank you later for it! I've said it before, I have at least 3 journals with me at all times. One to help me plan my life so that I have a routine and not get so anxious about what I need to do, a diary for my thoughts, write everything you feel, write honestly, no structure needed! The relief I have found in being able to communicate in writing far surpasses being able to verbally tell someone how I'm feeling. I can be honest, blunt, vulnerable and emotional without feeling judged and unheard and risk word vomits to the wrong ears (y'all know what I mean). My 3rd journal is full of things that will bring me enlightenment, words of wisdom, inspirational quotes, sentimental moments and pictures etc. I add to this religiously and refer to it once I've passed a wave!

4. GET A FURBABY (if you can)
We seriously don't deserve animals, but if like me have recently become a proud furbaby Mama then you would know exactly how I feel. The immense joy an animal can bring is second only to the miracle of giving birth for me. You may have a whole world of people that you can count on but to your furbaby you ARE their world and the LOVE they give is REAL! My furbaby recognises any change in my emotions and won't leave my side and the look he gives me is reassurance that I will be okay and I am loved! I'll say it louder for the ones in the back who have yet to experience it... We don't deserve animals 

5. LET THE WAVES CRASH IN!
Let your emotions ride! I mean really let it go! If I learnt anything from this grief process, its features I liken to my DNA, unique!! We all grieve and process our emotions differently, because we have different triggers. DO NOT block out the moment because it'll save it for later! Let the tide rise and watch it as it fades out! Have that cry sis! Scream and shout, kick your feet! Allow the release! Once the moment passes refer to 2 and 3 and I promise you, you'll be good... RIDE THAT WAVE BABY!!

6. DIFFERENT FEEL, DIFFERENT TUNE!
Music is my happy place, naturally as a musician and as a person who struggled with anxiety and depression silently for many years! I have to have my music on hand in everything I do, whether its riding in the car, working, cooking and especially winding down at the end of the day! After a nice warm shower and I jump into my favourite silk pyjamas, I have my playlist ready for bed, I do my journal thing, dim down my night light, put on my music headband to block out any noise or distractions and I let the music put my mind to rest! Works wonders on nights when Im not feeling too great physically or emotionally! (P.S check out my pins on Pinterest for my favourite night time routine products)

7. TRAIN YOUR MIND!
Accept your emotions and how you feel and then train your mind on how to react to your own emotions! Self affirmations and manifesting "good" over me has been something consistent in my life lately, telling my mind that things will pass and that its okay to not be okay has helped me tremendously in getting through some of my worst days where self doubt and negativity were like anchors pulling me down and I just let them. Reminding yourself of just how amazing you are is important, you do not need validation from outside of YOU for that!

These are just some of the things that have helped me along my journey, in no way am I a professional or qualified to give advice but as a human being if sharing my experience helps one person than I have a purpose!

https://www.pinterest.com.au/theeuneducateddreamer/



Let me know if you have any tips that you would like to share? Or do these points resonate with you?

Keep Riding Dreamers
Be Kind to yourself and others!
T.U.D

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